What Kind of Grounding Actually Works?
A somatic therapist’s reflection on when “regulation tools” fall flat.
I’ve lost count of how many clients have said to me, with frustration in their voice:
“I tried breathing. I did the thing. Why do I still feel like this?”
And honestly? I’ve felt it too. Sometimes, the most well-intentioned tools: breathwork, cold showers, affirmations, even mindfulness, don’t work. Not because we’re doing them wrong. But because we’re doing them before listening.
💡 The Problem with Prescriptive Grounding
In therapy and in wellness spaces, we’re often handed lists of “regulation strategies.” But bodies aren’t checklists. They’re living systems. And when we override what they’re asking for, even a calming tool can become another form of pressure.
“I did the breathing, why am I not calm yet?”
“I know this should help, but it makes me feel worse.”
When I hear that, I don’t push harder. I get curious.
What does this body need, right now?
Sometimes the answer is stillness.
Sometimes it’s pacing in circles.
Sometimes it’s a snack, or a scream, or silence.
🧠 In the Therapy Room
As therapists, it’s easy to rely on tools we’ve been trained in, especially when time is short or when a client is distressed.
But I’ve learned to pause and ask: “Can we check in with your body first?”
Not: Here’s what we’ll do to fix this.
But: What is your system already trying to do to support you?
This shift, from doing to the body, to partnering with it, has changed how I practice.
And if I notice my own nervous system getting revved up or shut down during the session? That’s a cue, too. It means I need to listen inward before acting outward.
✨ A Practice for Therapists and Curious Clients
Try this at the start of your day or before your next session:
Sit with both feet on the floor and feel the support beneath you.
Say to yourself:
👉 “Body, I’m here. What do you need from me today?”Listen without trying to fix.
Whatever arises: a yawn, a shift, an urge to move, follow it for a moment.
We don’t always need to “do” more. Sometimes we need to notice differently.
📣 Prepared for Action?
Feeling like the tools aren’t working? Maybe your body has a different plan.
Let’s figure out what support actually fits your system.
