Post-Holiday Landing: How to Decompress and Re-Attune After the Rush
From the Therapist’s Chair
The holidays can be an activating demand on our nervous systems, juggling schedules, managing family dynamics, and navigating constant social input. While the events may be joyful, the pace often leaves the nervous system in a state of chronic “alert.”
The days after the holidays require a conscious landing. Finding a respectful way to jump straight from high activation back into calm can be done with intention.
Decompression is not laziness; it’s an essential act of relational care. We can regulate individually to re-attune collaboratively. This may look like slow movement or working out differently.
✨ Therapy as a Reset Button: The Science of Co-Regulation
When your system is dysregulated, your capacity for connection shrinks. Therapy offers the science-backed path to reclaiming your inner quiet through:
Embodiment Practice: Learning to feel the difference between activation (high energy, fast thoughts) and rest (heavy limbs, slow breath).
Individual Regulation: Taking intentional space to down-regulate or up-regulate your system without needing your partner to fix it. This is a practice of wholeness.
Co-Regulation: Utilizing the safe presence of your partner, therapist or friend to move deeper into calm once individual regulation is established. This is a foundational collaboration skill.
The time-honoured technique of slowing down gives your nervous system the proof it needs: “The perceived threat is over; I am safe now.”
🛋️ In the Therapy Room
I often see empowerment restored when clients reclaim their post-holiday time with intention. The shift comes when they move from reacting to intentionally working with their nervous system:
Individual Regulation: A common breakthrough is realizing the need for personal space first, for example, understanding that taking a quiet hour alone is not avoiding the partner, but instead giving yourself the chance to regulate so you can be fully present later.
Co-Regulation Awareness: Many couples learn to pause heated moments by identifying the true source of the tension. They shift from arguing about a surface issue (like the dishes) to acknowledging, “We are both activated and need to regulate our nervous systems before we can collaboratively solve this.”
Redefining Value: Clients often discover that the most immersive and memorable post-holiday connection wasn’t a planned activity, but the quiet, shared time spent doing absolutely nothing.
These moments are the true definition of relational health and wholeness.
✨ Try This Somatic Reflection (The 20-Minute Re-Attunement)
Intentionally create a space for quiet, either individually or non-verbal connection with your partner or family, focusing on embodiment:
Low-Demand Activity: Choose a low-demand activity (e.g., quiet reading, watching a movie, sitting by the fire). No planning or problem-solving allowed.
Shared Quiet: For 20 minutes, intentionally allow for long silences. Focus on simply feeling your or your partner’s presence next to you.
A Shared Sigh: Without speaking, coordinate a deep, audible sigh together. This simple somatic practice sends a signal of shared safety and release to both of your nervous systems.
📣 Prepared for Action?
Don’t let the holiday rush steal your post-holiday peace. Intentionally carve out time for decompression and re-attunement. If you are ready to use the science of your body to build a deeper connection with your loved ones, we can start there.
