Inherited Patterns, Invisible Roles
🪞Understanding Emotional Legacy
We inherit more than eye colour or traditions from our families. We inherit unspoken rules, emotional roles, and nervous system cues.
The “fixer,” the “quiet one,” the “strong one,” the “troublemaker.” Sometimes those roles were assigned without words. Sometimes they were survival strategies.
And often, they’re still operating, even in adulthood. Even in our romantic relationships. Even when we know we want something different.
This is where the work begins. Not with blame, but with awareness.
What were you taught (without being told) about:
Who gets to feel big emotions?
What happens when there’s conflict?
Who takes care of everyone else?
What makes you lovable or safe in your family?
Noticing these early lessons gives you a chance to pause before repeating them.
Or… to choose again.
✨ Somatic Practice: Mapping Emotional Inheritance
Find a quiet space and sit with a pen and paper.
Scan your body and ask: What emotion or role feels familiar right now?
(e.g., responsible, anxious, withdrawn, over-functioning…)Notice where it lands in your body: chest, jaw, belly, shoulders?
Ask yourself:
Where did I learn this way of being?
Who in my family held this role or this feeling?
Is this mine to carry today?
Take a breath, soften around the sensation, and say:
“Thank you for what you’ve carried. You don’t have to do this alone anymore.”
🧰 For Beginners: Just naming the role is a great start. You can journal what you find.
🧭 Already Practicing? Try tracking how often this role gets activated in daily life. What’s the pattern?
🛋️ Tend to it in Therapy
In family therapy or individual work, this might sound like:
“I didn’t realize I took on that role until I watched my kid do the same.”
“I want to stop yelling, but that’s how we always communicated in my house.”
“I didn’t think I had trauma, but I was the one who had to stay calm when everything went sideways.”
Therapy can help explore what’s inherited and what’s optional. What was once protective might now be restrictive. Together, we can make room for something new.
📣 Prepared for Action?
If you’re navigating old roles that no longer fit, in your family, relationship, or inner world — you’re not alone.
Let’s explore who you are beyond what you inherited.
